Have you ever felt like a woman without breasts or like a man in the company of women? I have ! Couple of days ago, I was invited to the birthday party of the cutest thing (ofcourse, I mean a baby) ever. Charlotte turned ‘one’, and I ended up feeling like a lady with a dick .
The birthday party was full of mums with infants, not many dad except Charlotte’s and one non – mommy apart from me, who I thought would be my company for the evening. But there is only so much you can talk to an university going girl and the dad who was busy making sandwiches and keeping away from the group of women (I did feel sorry for him, but he looked more comfortable than I was). The reason for my uncomfort was the kind of conversation the mums were having; completely alienating the non-mums in the room, as if the world revolves around them and their infants and that everybody cares to dicuss about breast-feeding.
While I was busy playing with an infant , tossing the kid up in the air and catching him ; suddenly I found myself in a circle of mums talking about breast-feeding. Apparently, breast-feeding involved a lot of tactics and is a natural way of synchronizing your boobs. One of the moms said that, because she used her left breast to feed her first infant, she realised that it was sagging; and in order to get both look properly in sync she has decided to feed her next infant with her right breast. All I could hear was she voluntarily wanted her right boob to sag?!! What a thing to wish!
Another mother informed that, because one of her nipples point downwards, she chose to feed her infant with the other one that points up straight at you; not just for convenience , but also to avoid choking the kid as the breast will fall on her face while she reached out for the nipples??!! That was hilarious, yet too much detail!! Now I have an image of her breasts in my head, and its not pleasant.
I always thought, if there is anything to discuss about nursing, it must be about the ease and the pain that comes along with it. Some mums find it painful, some don’t! And you would think, the ones who have it easy won’t have much to talk about but no, they do! You take the pain bit away , then comes the shape of their breasts and leanness of their nipples etc.
Although, it was very hilarious, a bit informative – left me with something to think about; yet I felt a bit out of place or a woman without breasts because I was so uncomfortable to stand there listening to boob talks in a very non glamorous way. I left soon after that conversation took a different turn to talking about ex’s and bad relationships.
I am never ever going to an infants birthday party ever again. At least not on my own! But those mums are all my friends and I do appreciate them for what they are. Afterall, the essence of being a woman is in being a mum.